A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket, and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter. Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman kind...

A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket, and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter. Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman kind...

As the new CEO, determined to rid the company of all slackers, toured the facility he noticed a guy leaning against a wall. Wanting to let the employees know he means business, he asked the guy, "And how much money do you make a week?" Surprised, the young fellow replied, "I make $300.00 a week. Why?" The CEO, handing the guy $1,200 cash screamed, "Here's four weeks pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!" Looking around the room the CEO asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what...

As the new CEO, determined to rid the company of all slackers, toured the facility he noticed a guy leaning against a wall. Wanting to let the employees know he means business, he asked the guy, "And how much money do you make a week?" Surprised, the young fellow replied, "I make $300.00 a week. Why?" The CEO, handing the guy $1,200 cash screamed, "Here's four weeks pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!" Looking around the room the CEO asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what...

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the doo...

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the doo...